Once upon a time, at the end of the 1970s, a little girl was born on an island that was mostly desert. She lived there for a couple of years and then moved with her mum and dad to an old house on the side of a hill. Then they moved to a house opposite fields. Then in the middle of the 1980s they moved to a house in a medium-sized town and stayed there. The little girl was not so little any more, and spent the first afternoon in her new house sitting in a corner with a new book and some Maltesers.
About a year later a little sister turned up. The girl wasn't so keen on her for a while, but after 30 years or so of the little sister existing, she now likes her quite a lot.
The girl spent most of her primary school years playing football with the boys, and got quite a shock when she wasn't allowed to do this in senior school too. Luckily, the senior school had a very big library.
After attempting student life in Canterbury (and never once visiting the Cathedral or the Canterbury Tales) the girl moved back to the medium-sized town for a bit before running away to the Midlands with a completely unsuitable man.
Luckily she first found herself a bookshop to spend her days in, and then met a suitable man. Now she lives in a house with the suitable man and their own little girl, one mad cat, and lots of books and stitchy things.
A new book and some Maltesers are still a surefire way to please her (but not to get her attention - reading, duh).
If you meet her at a party, she will be standing with her back to the wall, trying to listen to every single conversation. Be kind and find her a bookcase to look at.
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